Brian McConnell | Letters to Ambrose Merton # 16, 1998

Sandy Hobbs’ collection of punning hairdresser’s names (LTAM 15) rang a distant bell in my memory. The Londoner’s Almanac by Russell Ash (Century, 1985, page 85) incudes a list. He says. “Although most London hairdressers are called something like “Maison Roger’, ‘Andre’ or ‘Snippers’, many have names that are clever puns on the services they offer. Here are forty of them.”

ALIAS QUIFF AND COMBS
ALI BARBER
BEYOND THE FRINGE
BLOW INN
BUZZ BEES
CURL UP AND DYE
CUT ABOVE
CUT LOOSE
DEB ‘N HAIR
DO YER NUT
FRINGE BENEFITS
HAIR AND NOW
HAIRAZORS
HAIR TODAY
HAIR WE ARE
HAIR WE GO
HAIR LOOM
HAIR PORT
HAIRS AND GRACES
HATS OFF
HAZEL NUTS
HEAD FIRST
HEADLINES
HEADMASTERS
HEADWAY
HEAD START
HEADS WE DO
HEAT WAVE
LUNATIC FRINGE
MANE ATTRACTION
NEW BARNET*
NEW WAVE
SHEAR PLEASURE
SHYLOCKS
STREAKS AHEAD
SUN ‘N HAIR
UPPERCUTS
WAVELENGTH

* In cockney rhyming slang, Barnet Fair is Hair

I am tempted to extend the collection to other trades butlrt me just confine myself (for now) to two favourites. The former antique shop in London Road, Forest Hill, London S13 was truthfully named JUnk and Disorderly. And still, I believe, in the backstreets of Brighton,Sussex, is a shop under the glamorous name of Twentieth Century Frocks.