Dear Mister Thoms

Update — The Crocodile From Paris

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Sandy Hobbs and David Cornwell | Dear Mister Thoms # 36, 1994

Sandy Hobbs and David Cornwell
(With thanks to Veronique Campion-Vincent)

Regular readers or Dear Mr Thoms… may be aware that we have carried a number of short pieces referring to a crocodile found in the sewers of Paris. Some conversations with Veronique Campion-Vincent which took place at this year's Conference on Contemporary Legend made us feel that these should be consolidated and commented upon.

First, in DMT 25, there appe<tred, courtesy of Veronique Campion-Vincent, the text in French of two newspaper articles describing the capture of a crocodile by sewer workers in Paris. We did not attribute these articles at that time. They appeared in France-Soir, 3 March 1984 and 10 March 1984.

In DMT 26, there was a report from David Cornwell that the aquarium at Vannes, Brittany, has on display a Nile Crocodile which it says was found in the sewers of Paris.

DMT 28 contained an extract from an article on the Paris sewers as a tourist attraction, found by Bill Nicolaisen, in the Aberdeen Press and Journal. A key sentence, referring to sewer employees, read:

They say they have also found pet snakes which escaped down lavatories, and a crocodile that was flushed down as a buaby and survived to become fully grown.

The second half of this sentence, though brief, is pretty much the "classic" version of The Alligator in the Sewer" legend, except, of course, that it is a crocodile and in Paris.

If we assume that all of these items have a common reference point, then to read them side by side is instructive. The Scottish newspaper article refers to the capture of a fully grown animal flushed down the toilet when a baby. However, the French articles which are pretty much contemporary with the actual capture refer quite explicitly to a "jeune" (young) and "bébé" (baby) crocodile. Its length is given as RO centimetres (around 30 inches). Thus it was not fully grown when captured.

But where did it come from? One of the difficulties about believing the "flushed down the lavatory" part of the Alligator in the Sewer story is wondering how anyone can know that part of the creature's history. France-Soir refers more delicately to New Yorkers releasing crocodiles "avec l'eau du bain" (with the bath water). However, it does not offer that explanation for the Parisian crocodile, writing only of it being "abandonné par ses mâitres" (abandonned by its masters).

France-Soir does give us one clue which might indicate that the crocodile got into the sewer by non-legendary means. The sewer where it was captured lies under the Quai de la Megisserie. This street by the River Seine is renowned for two kinds of shops — those selling plants, and those selling animals. Some of the animals one can see on display are relatively exotic. An escape from a pet shop may be less dramatic than a flush down a lavatory, but it is surely a more likely beginning to this crocodile story.

One further French newspaper clipping has come to hand, from Le Telegramme, 12 December 1992. According to the author, Alain Le Bloas, after its capture the crocodile spent two years in the Jardin des Plantes in Paris. (Despite its name, this is a zoo as well as a Botanic Garden.) It was then transferred to the Aquarium at Vannes where it is the star attraction. It has now grown to 1.8 metres (well over five feet) in length. It has been given the name Lacoste.

Le Bloas sheds no more light on how it got into the sewer, other than speculating that it was a pet brought from abroad which had grown too large to continue living in an apartment. However, he pictures Lacoste as having been "liberated" in the subterranean jungle. No hint of flushing toilets or bath water.

Update: Crocs

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| Dear Mister Thoms # 28, 1992

Extract from the (Aberdeen) Press and Journal (1 September 1992} – courtesy of Bill Nicolaisen. See paragraph 13!

Dispatch from Paris.

Tourists head down sewers. Each day, say guides, 500 to BOO tourists from many countries make the tour. Britons are notably rare. Visitors do not loiter long beside the black rivers.

THERE may be nicer things to do on a summer holiday in Paris than tour the sewers. Yet, every day, hundreds of tourists take time away from the Palace of Versailles or the Louvre museum to plunge into the bowels of the City of Lights. It is hot and stuffy. It stinks. Rats are plentiful.

"This is a bit sick, but it is unusual," said Spanish tourist Yolanda Pasamio. "I thought it would be worse."

Guides claim Paris is the only major city in the world showing its sewers. A visit to the few galleries open to the public under the elegant Eiffel Tower district offers a rare insight into a mysterious city beneath the City.

Guides say that each day 500 to 800 tourists from many countries make the £2 visit. Britons are notably rare. The Japanese wear surgical masks against the stench.

Visitors do not loiter long beside the black rivers.

They are rewarded at the end of the tour with a fitting exhibition by Benyamina, an artist who works with lavatory seats. He turns them into mirrors, funeral wreaths, keyholes, clocks and letterboxes.

To avoid setting off explosions of accumulated gases, the underground city is devoid of lighting, except in the visitors' section. It has its own residents-up to 2 million rats, whose frantic breeding defeats any extermination campaign.

The 1,300-mile-long network runs 16ft to 260ft deep and follows the capital's streets. Each gallery bears the name of the street above it, marked on a traditional blue Parisian street sign, with street numbers corresponding to each building.

Thus, the 500 sewer workers know exactly where they are at all times.

The story goes that sewer workers, seeking to punish occupants of an apartment block who had been stingy with New Year tips, stuck a fork across its evacuation pipe, causing a blockage that backed up the sewage.

The maze of dark galleries is said to have provided haven for resistance fighters during World War II.

Access to all but the visitors' section is barred. Police fear that terrorists could set off bombs under key targets and burglars could burrow their way up into banks. Employees say anything can be found in the sewers: rings lost in lavatories, empty handbags discarded by thieves, and incriminating pistols thrown away by gangsters. Hundreds of weapons turned up in the wake of the war and in the troubled period after Algeria's war of independence from France.

They say they have also found pet snakes which escaped down lavatories, and a crocodile that was flushed down as a baby and survived to become fully grown.
Life in the sewers is far from healthy. Workers carry gas detectors to avoid being asphyxiated or setting off explosions.

A fall into the fetid rivers, called "baptism" or "assbath" in their own slang, can mean several days in hospital for anyone swallowing even a mouthful of water.

Staff are retired at 50, sometimes with lung trouble. Yet "My grandfather, father, two brothers-in-law and several cousins worked in the sewers," said 33-year-old Jose Lahaye, who shows visitors around.

Another danger looms from rainstorms, which can rapidly swell the sewers into roaring torrents. Headquarters keep in constant contact with weathermen to warn workers-and tourists-to return quickly to the surface.

Update: French Crocs

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| Dear Mister Thoms # 26, 1992

David Cornwell has sent me a leaflet from the acquarium at Vannes, France. Claiming to be unique in France and to have the finest collection in Europe, Vannes aquarium offers, among other things, a Nile crocodile found in the sewers of Paris. David says that he visited the zoo last summer and there was indeed a crocodile there, “showing no signs of its alleged travels.”

Crocodiles bribe to voters By Ben Fenton

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| Dear Mister Thoms # 25, 1992

Manifesto launch: Lord Sutch

The Official Monster Raving Loony party issued its manifesto yesterday, a four-page photocopied document with the slogan “Vote for insanity-you know it makes sense”.

It included a pledge to allow anyone attending court, not simply judges and lawyers, to wear wigs and gowns and to reduce income tax to zero for anyone below the national average wage.

They also propose extending the Chunnel tunnel to Switzerland and decimalising time. Crocodiles will be introduced into the Mersey and the Thames as part of a plan to create six giant Loony theme parks.

(The Daily Telegraph 19.3.92 p. 7)

Update: Crocodiles

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Véronique Campion-Vincent | Dear Mister Thoms # 25, 1992

Some French crocs courtesy of Véronique Campion-Vincent

(A)
Avant d'eire capturé
par un commando d'égoutiers

Le crocodile des égouts de Paris s'est bien défendu

Sur les bords du Nil ils sont partis, n'en parlons plus. Mais on, les crocodiles sont revenus. L'un d'entre eux hantait récemment les egouts parisiens. Mercredi apres-midi audessous du quai de la Mergisserie (1er), les égoutiers se sont trouvés nez à nez avec un jeune crocodile à l'allure noble et fière: il faisait tranquillement sa promenade quotidienne.

Amateur de liberté et familier de ces espaces souterrains, le saurien ne s'est pas laissé impressionner par les intrus, égoutiers et pompiers venus à la rescousse. Il leur a
opposé une resistance farouche. Mais l'ennemi fut le plus fort. Bâillonné, ligoté, il a été conduit au vivarium du Jardin des Plantes. Adieu la liberté.

Ce crocodile (si ce n'est lui c'est donc son frère) était bien connu des égoutiers et de la police parisienne. On, l'avait dêja aperçu a plusieurs reprises il y a quelques mois, sans
doute après qu'il eut été lâchement abandonné par ses maîtres. On avait essayé sans succès de le capturer.

Il y a quelques années, a New York sévissait la mode des petits sauriens domestiques. Effrayés par la croissance aussi rapide qu'inquiétante de leur animal familier, les maîtres indignes les jetaient avec l'eau du bain … Résultat, quelques mois plus tard, les égouts de Manhattan grouillaient de crocodiles …

(B) [accompanying picture omitted]

Ne vous y fiez pas: bien que ce bébé crocodile ne mesure que quatre-vingts centimètres de long, ses dents sont solides. Il vous couperait un doigt comme rien.

Les égoutiers qui l'ont capturé Mercredi dans les soussols du quai de la Mergisserie (1er), ont pris leurs précautions.

Finalement, malgré une belle défense, le "croco" a eu le dessous. Il est aujourd'hui au vivarium du jardin des Plantes où il a retrouvé ses copains sauriens.

The Clowns

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David Cornwell and Sandy Hobbs | Dear Mr. Thoms... # 24, 1992

Notes on an investigation in progress

In September and October 1991, stories have been circulating amongst school children in parts of the West of Scotland concerning approaches by ill-intentioned adults dressed as clowns. We have been gathering information about these stories in various ways and would be glad of any help in pursuing them. In particular, we would welcome information concerning equivalent stories in other areas, now or in the past. In the meantime we present below some of what we have collected, along with a few preliminary comments.

We first became aware of the stories through an item in the Sunday Mail, 15 September 1991, headlined "Riddle of the Clowns: Police probe kids' scare".

Police chiefs are baffled by floods of reports that children are being scared by two mystery … CLOWNS.

One definite, genuine report was received in Hamilton on September 4.

It concerned one man dressed in a clown's outfit, driving a purple mini, and offering sweets to children.

Since then, Lanarkshire Police have been inundated with forty reports – of two clown men, in a blue van.

However, the reported sightings have failed to provide police with leads, despite a helicopter and extra patrols being used. Joe Hogan, Strathclyde region's divisional education officer for Lanark, has told teachers:

"As a precaution you should alert pupils and parents. Anyone who sees a suspect person should phone the police. But no direct approach should be made."

Initial claims put the clowns in the Blantyre, Cambuslang, and Hamilton areas. One headmaster had information about similar incidents around Lesmahagow. Biggar and Douglas.

A police spokesman said: “There could be a perfectly inno¬cent explanation, but we must have information.
Anyone who sees something sus¬picious should note details such as registration numbers and notify us immediately.”

Three days later, a friend rang one of us, SH, with a story of clowns which he had heard from a child in the Easterhouse area of Glasgow and which he suspected might be an urban legend. That same day, unknown to either, the story, "Schools alert over strangers", appeared in the Glasgow Evening Times, 18 September 1991.

Schools in Lanarkshire have put parents and children on the alert.

Education chiefs have put out a warning after continued sightings of people in clown outfits offering sweets to children.

Strathclyde Police last week advised parents and young school children to beware and not to accept sweets from, or speak to, strangers.
Now some schools in Lanark¬shire have written to parents warning them of the situation.

Numerous sightings have been made in the Blantyre, Cambuslang, Hamilton. Coatbridge, and Stonehouse areas of a man tourinlg in a blue transit van.

A spokesman for Strathclyde Region’s education department said: “The division has written to all schools in the area making them aware of the situation.”

The next day a colleague at work approach SH with a story he later recorded on tape.

Yesterday morning my child was reluctant to go to school and complained of a slight tummy ache. On previous occasions where that's happened she's gone to school and been fine afterwards. So she went to school as normal. On the way to school in the car, she happened to mention that a friend of her's had told her the previous day that there had been someone going round dressed in a clown's outfit giving sweets to children. I didn't take the story very seriously. Three hours later, I got a phone call from her childminder saying that Kerry had come home, the school had sent her home, and she was complaining of still having a sore stomach. The childminder then phoned back half an hour later to say that Kerry had been saying that a rumour was going -, a story was going round the school, that there were -, there was someone, a person or people, dressed in a clown's outfit, going round in a blue van, giving sweets to children, and that she was very anxious about this and this was going round the school. Following that call, I telephoned the headmaster who said that the rumour was right round the school, that to try and reassure the kids they had asked five parents to come at the interval into the playground and that they had also contacted the community involvement police. He also mentioned that he thought they had calmed the kids down but at lunchtime two girls had gone to the local newsagent's and seen the local newspaper with a photograph of a clown on the front page. It was in fact a promotional item. The two girls had returned to the school in a state which he described as being hysterical. When I went home and went to pick up the kids from school that evening, my son who is eleven, my daughter is eight, my son's eleven, told me that in fact there were three individuals that were going round, one with a Bart Simpson mask, one with a Ronald McDonald mask, and one with a turtle mask. They were driving around in a van that was disguised as a police van, throwing out bags of sweets to children, and that in fact the sweets were drugged. And my son became quite irate, quite distressed when it was put to him that really there was very little basis for that story.

Since we were also picking up the story from other sources now, we decided to try to estimate its extent, and possible variants, in a more systematic way. On Monday 23rd September, over a hundred post-graduate student teachers (whom we shall call Group A) would return to Jordanhill College from teaching practice in a wide variety of primary schools in the region. With the agreement of their tutors, DC presented them with a questionnaire.

Children’s encounters with strangers

I am interested in the extent of anxiety amongst children, teachers and parents concerning approaches to children by unwelcome strangers in public places.

I would be grateful if you would help in this inquiry by reporting anything relevant to such anxiety which you might have observed or heard about during your recent period in school.
Any information, however slight, might be of value.

If, on reflection, you decide that you have nothing relevant to report, please write "NIL" but complete the details requested at the bottom of the sheet.

Thank you for your help.

David Cornwell

It will be noted that this questionnaire was intentionally vague and did not mention clowns.

The results were as follows:

Total number of respondents: 103
No information: 36
Information (no mention of clowns): 36
Information (mentioning clowns): 31

In most cases more than one student visited each school. Expressed in terms of schools, we found that at least one report of the clown story in 22 out of the 58 schools (38%). Although the affected schools were predominantly in the area indicated in the press report, the story had reached some schools in outwith the area.

Subsequently DC obtained information from another, smaller group. These were first year BEd students (Group B) who had not yet had any teaching experience.

Total number of respondents: 16
Information mentioning clowns: 14
Clown story heard from child: 11

We shall now turn to a more detailed look at the content of what was reported by these two student groups, including, where appropriate, information from more informal sources.

A. Perspective

The students vary considerable in the attitude they appear to take up towards the story. There follow two comparatively short statements, one displaying scepticism, the other more accepting in outlook.

Respondent 02: Children in P2 were telling the teacher of men in vans dressed up as clowns. The headmistress tried to scotch the rumour, as no hard evidence was found. Teachers speculated that it might have been on the news some weeks passed; that could have been the catalyst.

Respondent 01: During my placement there was a lot of talk among the kids about a clown going around Coatbridge offering sweets, kidnapping the children and threatened to shoot a girl. However there is some truth in this as there was an incident of a shooting and kidnapping and a separate incident of a man dressed as a clown offering sweets. The school was alerted of this and a letter sent out to all parents which caused a lot of anxiety among the children and the teachers were worried to(o).

B. Story Content

Blue Van A van is a regular, but. not invariable, feature of the story. It is normally blue; on a couple of occasions it is specified to be an ice-cream van.

Group Clown stories Van Blue
A 31 17 13
B 14 10 4

One might wonder why such an apparently trivial detail as the type of vehicle~ and its colour~ should be so comparatively stable. If the story is treated as a warning, then it would be important to remember that the vehicle was a blue van, as this would be a sign of possible danger.

Names and Variants No regular name for the figures featured in these stories seems to have emerged~ "Killer Clowns" and "Bad Clowns" have both been used, but neither frequently. In any case, costumes other than clowns have appeared~ including monkeys, turtles and policemen. In one case the clowns were said to be gypsies, perhaps echoing a much more ancient fear.

The Approach The most common way in which the clowns are said to approach children is by giving or offering sweets. On a couple of occasions, it is an offer of face-painting that is made.

Outcome But what happens after the approach? That is more problematic. In some cases, the child enters the van or is just "taken away". Is something more being implied? With the exception of a single reference to rape, sex is not explicitly mentioned. However, it may be that an offer of sweets from a stranger is such a stereotyped introduction to events which end in sexual attack that the tellers take that outcome for granted. (It should be noted that the "tellers" are our adult informants; we have not been collecting from children directly.)

A few versions mention some sort of physical attack, the most interesting of which are those which seem to allude to the distinctive sort of cuts to the mouth attributed to the so-called "Chelsea Smilers" (Roud, 1989). It is not clear whether the phrase "Chelsea Smile" we have picked up here derives from the children or is adult labelling of a child's description. Only a couple of versions deal in more extreme violence, one of which we quote.

Respondent X12: I came home from college last week and my little sister (aged 9) told me a story of how a friend of hers had heard about men who wore clown masks and drove an ice cream van. These men (or women) were kidnapping children and chopping them up with big knifes and putting them in freezers and eating them for lunch. She also said that the blood was sold with the ice cream as raspberry sauce to get rid of the evidence. When I asked her if she was worried she said no because it was happening in schools near our house but her school is in Glasgow.

C. Sources and Effects

The reports from our informants include not simply story "texts" but also references to possible origins and to observed outcomes. Parents, police and the mass media are all cited as possible sources. One student reports that older children told the stories in order to frighten younger ones. Others appear to assume that the story derives from an actual incident, even although it may have become exaggerated in the telling.

In a number of cases the students appear to have had fairly direct experience of children becoming hysterical, set off, for example, by the approach of a van or a police helicopter. In another case, the response of children appears to have been more aggressive.

Respondent X05: In my son and daughter's Primary School the story of two men in a van dressed as clowns swept through the children. The tension in the children was quite noticeable. My own children were reassured by going over the list of "what to do if approached" that we had already decided on. My friend's son however became anxious about coming home for lunch because he would have to walk back to school alone. About a week after this there was an incident in the playground when some workmen next door were actually stoned by about a dozen children while many more watched. My own children were not involved but a friend's daughter was accused of throwing stones. This is entirely out of character for her.

D. Antecedents

As already mentioned above, one possible origin of such a story is an actual incident of the sort the story portrays. However, this by no means the only possibility. It has not been necessary for us to seek alternative explanations. Informants have suggested them to us. These include, at the local level, a road safety campaign aimed at school children and featuring a clown, balloon sellers who dress as clowns, and a promotional campaign for a brand of sweets featuring clowns. In the mass media, our attention has been drawn to It, a novel by Stephen King and a video based on it. The video was released for rental in Britain on 23rd August 1991; the poster advertising it in video shops features a sinister clown-figure.

We have not reviewed the literature on satanic abuse systematically, but have noted two cases, one in America (Nathan, 1990) and one in the Netherlands (Jonker and Jonker-¬Bakker, 1991), in which an abuser is alleged to have dressed as a clown. It is possible that such a notion could have been spread through satanic abuse seminars to those educationists who eventually give warnings to children.

Two final point of speculation. First, although clowns are figures which appear in adult entertainment, often devised for children, can we sure that children always regard them as amiable?

Secondly, there is the question of the time of year at which this has taken place. The Gorbals Vampire Hunt (Hobbs and Cornwell, 1988) took place in September, 1954. We wonder whether such events are more likely to take place at this time of year. September is a month when children are still able to play out of doors after school, making the spread of rumours easier. The next major children's calendar custom is Hallowe'en, associated with dressing up and with frightening figures.

References

Hobbs, Sandy and Cornwell, David, Hunting The Monster With Iron Teeth, pp 115-137 in Gillian Bennett and Paul Smith (Eds.) Monsters With Iron Teeth, Sheffield: Sheffield Academic Press, 1988.

Jonker, F. and Jonker-Bakker, P. Experiences With Ritualist Child Sexual Abuse, Child Abuse and Neglect 15, 1991, 191-196.

Nathan, Debbie. The Ritual Sex Abuse Hoax, Village Voice, 12 June 1990, 36-44.

Roud, Steve. Chelsea Smilers, Foaftale News 15, September¬1989, 1-2.

Acknowledgements

Thanks to all the students who responded to our questions and to John Brady, Donald Christie, Tony Clarke, Sheena Crozier, Janet Fabb, lain Ferguson, Kevin Hobbs, Effie Maclennan, lain McKechnie, Jim and Margaret McKechnie, Joan Menmuir, Gerry Mooney.

Update – Hanging the Monkey

/ kevinhobbs

Sandy Hobbs & David Cornwell | Dear Mister Thoms # 35, 1994

ln DMT 33, Sandy Hobbs had a preliminary look at the story of the hanging of the monkey, which is associated with several places in Britain. He expressed himself “agnostic” on the rival claims of Hartlepool (North East England) and Boddam (North East Scotland) to be the “true” origin of the story. Further investigations now lead us to support the case of Hartlepool against Boddam.

We are grateful to Ian Russell for drawing our attention to Keith Gregson’s book Corvan: A Victorian Entertainer and his Songs (Banbury: Kemble, 1983). This book provides an approximate date for the first appearance of the song later known as “The Fishermen Hung The Monkey, O.” In Hartlepool Public Library there is a balladsheet, “Who Hung the Monkey” in which the song is said to have been “written and sung by Mr E, Corvan with immense applause at the Dock Hotel Music Hall, Southgate, Hartlepool.” A local history has suggested 1854 or 1855 as the date of this performance. This balladsheet thus almost certainly predates by several years the 1862 publication of the song in Tyneside Ballads to which Sandy Hobbs referred previously. Gregson also draws attention to to publication in 1827 of two other songs in which monkeys are mistaken for humans, “The Sandhill Monkey” and “The Baboon.” In the latter, the baboon is mistaken for “a hairy French spy.” We thus have evidence of the sort of song culture in North East England in which Corvan was working.

As mentioned in DMT 33, James Drummond argues that the song originated in North East Scotland and that Corvan adapted it, after having heard it sung by Scottish fisherfolk working in Hartlepool. Drummond has in mind the practice which existed at one time whereby, after the Scottish herring fishing season had finished, men and women from Scottish fishing ports travelled to English East coast fishing centres, the men to fish and the women to cure the herring. However, this happened rather too late to help Drummond’s case. Gray (1978) says that a few Fife fishermen began this practice on a small scale in the l860s but that it was considerably later in the nineteenth century before the practice developed on a large scale. Oral history supports economic history on this point. Butcher (1987) quotes an informant born in 1892 in Peterhead (near Boddam) who says that in her mother‘s day there was no seasonal migration to the English ports. Thus it is unlikely that Corvan would have heard Scottish fishermen’s
songs in Hartlepool in the l850s.

For ease of reference we have included a chronological table. We suggest that this table is most easily intrepreted assupporting a move from Hartlepool to Boddam rather than Boddam to Hartlepool as Drummond claims. If Scottish fisherfolk took the song and the story back home with them from England, this would represent- a known trend. Peter Hall tells us that folksongs have moved readily up and down the East coast of Britain. A number of English songs have been collected in North East Scotland, for example, “Scarborough’s Banks,” “Bold Princess Royal,” and “Grace Darling.”

Chronological Table

  N.E. ENGLAND N.E. SCOTLAND
1827 Songs The Samihill Monkey and The Baboon published.  
1854/55 Who Hung the Monkey performed in Hartlepool; balladsheet printed.  
1860s Scottish herring fishing boats begin to extend their season by operating from English East coast ports.
1862 The Fishermen Hung the Monkey, O published in Tyneside Ballads.  
1890s Large scale herring fishing from English East coast ports by N.E. Scottish boats.
1907   The Fishermen Hanged the Monkey O collected, Cullen.
1930s   Drummond hears about the Boddam Monkey.
1950   Boddam story in Neish’s Old Peterhead.
1965   And the Boddamers Hanged the Monkey O appears in print.

Additional References

David Butcher, Following the Fishing. Newton Abbott: David and Charles, 1987.

Malcolm Gray, The Fishing Industries of Scotland, 179O–1914. Oxford: Oxford University Press, 1978.

Little Buddy: an unfinished story?

/ kevinhobbs

Sandy Hobbs & David Cornwell | Dear Mister Thoms # 10, 1989

1. Bill Ellis noticed the following item in a local newspaper and passed it on to Sandy Hobbs, who works in Paisley:

view original

Hazleton Standard-Speaker, Thursday, March 12, 1987

‘Little Buddy’ hoax draws 4 million postcards

BETHLEHEM (AP) – Sometimes urban myths take on international proportions.

Take the case of Little Buddy. a Scottish youngster said to be dying of leukaemia. who bas just one last wish: to see his name listed in the Guinness Book of World Records for collecting the most postcards.

Thanks to word-of-mouth advertising. Little Buddy’s story bas been circulated the world over, and millions of people have sent postcards to a post office box in his hometown of Paisley, a small town near Glasgow.

Little Buddy is said to have received more than 4 million postcards. Postal workers in Paisley say they aren’t sure bow many cards Little Buddy has gotten; they stopped counting long ago because they have been piling up for more than four years.

Little Buddy never comes to pick them up, because Little Buddy doesn’t exist.

Informed that the Little Buddy myth has been circulating again in the United States. and in particular the Lehigh Valley. a supervisor in the Paisley post office heaved an exasperated sigh.

“What has happened,” he explained. “is that about four years ago a guy started a campaign. asking people to send postcards to Little Buddy. But no one was ever able to find out who Little Buddy was.”

He said the cards have been arriving steadily since 1983. when the rumour began. but “it does seem like we’ve been getting more from the United States in the last four or five months.”

Jane Pulley of Bethlehem beard about the legendary Little Buddy from a Lehigh Valley Bank employee whose child, a pupil at William Penn School, Bethlehem, brought home a copy of the school’s newsletter, which included an appeal for more postcards.

Pulley offered to ship her collection of more than 800 cards to the little boy. She’d spent most of her life gathering the cards. but was willing to part with them to help Buddy reach his Guinness World Record goal.

Pulley, according to Gary Kimball of Lehigh Valley Bank. which had offered to pay postage to mail the six pounds of postcards to Scotland. said she hasn’t sent them yet.

“Wow!” said a surprised Kimball. when informed the whole thing is just a long-running hoax.

Collection of postcards at William Penn School began about a month or more ago, after pupils began circulating the story of Little Buddy.

Informed Tuesday that Little Buddy doesn’t exist, third-grade teacher Mary Moukoulls said. “It’s one of those things. What can you do? When people hear they can do something nice for someone. they tend to believe it. But you think, is this correct?”

She said she has heard that pupils at other schools “have picked it up and are doing the same thing.”

The Little Buddy story dates at least to 1983.

Washington Post writer Bob Levey published an item in May about Little Buddy and his desire to get into the Guinness Book of World Records.

Several days later, Levey explained in an article that began. “I’m afraid it was all a hoax,” that Little Buddy does not exist and that Levey was taken in like radio and television announcers and newspaper columnists the world over by reports spread by well-meaning Scottish citizens-band radio operators.

2. Sandy Hobbs got the following reply when he wrote to Paisley Post Office:

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Dear Mr Hobbs

Thank you for your letter dated 23rd March 1987 relating to ‘Little Buddy’.

A copy of a standard reply which we use to let enquirers know the current situation is enclosed. This may be of use to you.

We believe that mail addressed to ‘Little Buddy’ started to arrive in 1982 and is still arriving, although the appeal was closed in June 1983. ,

We believe that mail addressed to ‘Little Buddy’. started to arrive in 1982 and is still arriving, although the appeal was closed in June 1983.

It is not possible for me to confirm the accuracy of the press cutting and regulations do not permit us to allow you to examine this mail.

You may if you wish, telephone Mr McNab our Assistant Head Postmaster who is at Extension 26 and will arrange an appointment with you to discuss this further, if you so wish.

(The enclosed letter…)

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Dear _________

Thank you for your letter of _________ regarding items of correspondence addressed to ‘Little Buddy’ PO Box 76, Paisley, Renfrewshire.

Some time ago such an appeal vas made. The response exceeded the organisers expectations and the appeal was closed in June 1983.

The organisers, whilst expressing their appreciation to all correspondents, made it very clear through the media that they were unable to accept further donations.

Since that time correspondence coming to hand has received normal Returned Letter Branch treatment.

To our knowledge it was never established that the original appeal was a hoax. However, I must emphasise that the appeal is now closed.

I trust this information will be of assistance.

On the phone he was told that all mail for Box 76 had been either destroyed or returned to sender. The Post Office was anxious to debunk the whole business,

3. David Cornwell came across these items in the January 1988 and March 1988 issues of Stamp Bug News:

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January 1988:

An 8-year-old boy is dying of cancer and wants to be in the Guinness Book of Records for the most printed postcards. Please send him one, everybody. Little Buddy. PO Box 76. PAISLEY: Renfrewshlre.

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March 1988:

Finally, in the last Issue of Swap Special an entry from ‘Little Buddy’ was printed. There is no such person so please don’t send any stamps.

Stamp Bug.

Stamp Bug News is published by – The Post Office.

4. To be Continued?

Unexpected Returns

/ kevinhobbs

Marion Bowman & Sandy Hobbs | Dear Mr. Thom # 17, 1990

Can anyone help us to establish the legendary status of two stories which have in common the fact that a unexpectedly early return leads to the discovery of a crime? The first appeared in a letter to a popular magazine (My Weekly, 3 September 1988, p55):

My daughter-in-law’s friends were going on holiday and took a taxi to the airport. At the check-in they discovered they’d left their flight tickets at home. There was nothing for it but to go back for them, so the husband took a taxi home. Arriving at his house, he was puzzled to see another taxi parked outside. The house door was open and they caught their earlier taxi driver robbing the house. He already had the TV, video and several other items in his taxi. The police were called and the thief detained. But what if the people hadn’t forgotten their tickets?

The second story has been told in two different versions in the West of Scotland:

A woman leaves her car in Lewis’s car park in Glasgow. She forgets something so has to come back to the car almost immediately, only to discover the car gone. She rushes to the car park attendant who tells her that a man came with his seriously ill daughter . He couldn’t get his own car to start, but since his was the same make as her car, he tried the keys and found they fitted, so he rushed off to hospital with his daughter and will return the car as soon as possible. The woman is irate and dissatisfied, and rushes off to find a policeman. When they get back to the car park, the woman’s car is there, and the car park attendant goes through the story again . Somewhat mollified, the woman says she is furious, but probably won’t take the matter further.

In version 1, the story ends thus:

The policeman asks her is she sure the car is exactly as she left it. A quick inspection reveals four bald tyres instead of new ones. The car park attendant is charged with running a tyre racket.

In version 2, there are two policeman, one old, one young:

The older policeman says that although it was wrong to take the car, it was obviously an emergency, so he suggests the woman drops the matter. However, the young policeman asks her to check the car and the tyre switch is discovered. The older policeman and the car park attendant are eventually charged.

Perhaps significantly, the second version has supposedly been told by a private detective!

We cannot recall having seen these stories dealt with in any work on contemporary legend. Somewhat similar to the car park story is “Make sure you lock your car!” to be found in Paul Smith’s The Bool of Nastier legends (London: Routledge, 1986, p 37). It is a rather simpler narrative, in that the car owner merely returns to discover the car engine being removed. However, it might well have been an “ancestor” to the one we have quoted.

Letter from Craig Fees

/ kevinhobbs

Craig Fees | Dear Mr. Thoms # 17, 1990

Craig Fees
Church Lane
Toddington
GL54 SDQ

Dear Mr Thoms…

One of the consequences of Britain’s membership of the EC—especially the establishment of the Internal Market in 1992—is what, to an outsider like myself, would appear to be the transformation of British Folk culture but which to the British appears in the guise of “changes to the way we live”.

In my PhD thesis (Christmas Mumming in a North Cotswold Town, University of Leeds, 1988, copies of which are in the Folklore Society and Vaughan Williams Memorial libraries). I discussed in depth the kinds of changes experienced in a single English town over the course of the last hundred years, demonstrating their logical and (so it feels in looking at things in retrospect) their inevitable development in a certain direction which envelopes all aspects of life and culture, a development and logic which enmeshes Britain more closely into continental Europe and which has a number of predictable consequences of vital interest to folklorists. Well, potentially: folklorists find interesting what they find interesting, which is not always what is happening in the world to which they have no choice but to belong. That, by the way, is the sort of statement which would normally lead me to tear up a letter and begin again – too much to say. and not enough time to say it in. which leads to something which almost has to be misunderstood.

The fact is, of course, that in England folklorists for the most part study not what needs to be studied but what takes their fancy, which is not so much their own culture – the culture which they must live- – but the culture of others, primarily Those Who have Gone Before. Consequently, for the most part – and there is nothing wrong with this – they are subject to and agents of the kind of development which is altering the England which future generations will regard nostalgically and attempt to study and record. They will attempt to study and record it because it will all but have disappeared, and it will appear to them to have been an England which was England still, because the England in which they live will appear to them to be relatively without character, in which decisions are made which spring not from the Englishness of the English culture but from a New World – and so on. The cultural power of Europe will have moved out of the reach of the natives of England, and it will be centred (cultural power lending to follow economic power) on the mainland, perhaps in Berlin. The English will find themselves responding to cultural movements and tastes whose origin is elsewhere: they will find themselves defined by Outsiders. responding to the concerns of Outsiders, meeting the needs of Outsiders. and so on; “English” customs will be taken over by continentals who can fulfil them so much better, the best of England will pass into other hands and so on. Which is to say, the transformation of the rural community, which has passed from virtual autonomy from the cities to virtual possession by the urban-socially, politically and economically-with the sub-urbanisation of the English countryside-will continue with the City, in this case, being (perhaps; Berlin rather than Birmingham or London.

This will mean many things. As they awaken to their deprivation of Culture. the English will demand. invent. acquire, take over symbols of their Identity – they will want experiences which confirm their Englishness over against the European-ness which they will be imbibing on the one hand and fending off with the other. They will create an all new “English folk-culture”, based on what writers have written and pundits said. They will plunder archives and blind themselves to the fact that in their search for roots they are uprooting the authentic England of Others and burying it.

Or will they? Is the logic of development really inevitable? Or can folklorists in England care? Can they look forward as well as backward? Can they take a role as cultural commentators? Does the FLS, for example, have a position on the loss of full-game test match commentaries from the BBC – a public position?
Having read my thesis, you will realise. my Dear Mr Thoms. how poorly I am putting my own case for the need for British folklorists to discuss the meaning and nature of 1992 and all that. I apologise. Nevertheless, do you think we can look forward to a dedicated seminar? In haste and with great regards,

Craig