Sandy Hobbs | Letters to Ambrose Merton # 23, 2000

In his column in The Guardian newspaper on 6 June 2000, Matthew Engel declared:

“The apo’strophes days done!”

Engel noted that, although the chain store J Sainsbury is being “rebranded” Sainsbury’s (as opposed to Sainsburys), many existing British company and brand names are “apostrophe-free zones”, citing Barclays, Lloyds, Mothers Pride amongst his examples. This is balanced by what he calls “the greengrocers’ apostrophe” which “sneaks into everything from apple’s to yam’s”.

According to Engel, the apostrophe “was introduced from France (like rabies) in the mid-16th century, and has caused nothing but trouble ever since”. In the late 17th century some regularity began to appear in the use of the apostrophe in the genitive singular. However, place names “were and are shambolic”: Golders Green but St John’s Wood; Barons Court but Earl’s Court. Engel also notes the confusion over singular names ending in “s”. “Do they take an extra ‘s’ or not?”

“The rules governing the apostrophe are incoherent, illogical and of dubious provenance. Why did whose replace who’s?… Bernard Shaw had the answer 100 years ago. Do away with the apostrophe.”

In contrast to Engel, Inspector Morse and Sergeant Lewis, the Oxford detectives created by Colin Dexter, both show a concern with misused apostrophes in the latest (and last?) book in the series. Does their concern reflect the point of view of the author?

First, Morse:

Morse watched his visitor waddling somewhat steadily towards the police car parked confidently in the ‘Resident’s Only’ parking area. (Yes! Morse had mentioned the apostrophe to the Chairman of the Residents’ Welfare Committee). (p. 28)

Later Lewis interviews Biff, a pub landlord wearing a T-shirt bearing the words “The Maidens Arms” (p. 122). As Lewis leaves, he asks:

“Shouldn’t there be an apostrophe before the ‘s’?”

Biff grinned. “Funny you should say that. Fellow in here last night asked me exactly the same thing!” (p. 125)

The “fellow” was Morse.

Thirdly, we are told the text of instructions issued staff at a dump site:

MEMO FROM SITE MANAGER

Thames Valley Police have advised of the possibility of a human body, probably bagged, being recently conveyed from the Redbridge Centre in Oxford. Everyone is asked to be extra vigilant and to report anything unusual (or usual provided its a body).

The author comments:

Morse himself would have been pleased to write such a succinct note – though inserting, of course, an apostrophe in the humorous parenthesis. (p. 135)

Colin Dexter, The Remorseful Day, London: Pan Books Paperback Edition, 2000. (Hardback Edition, 1999)